First Encounter

I saw the headlights of his dad's truck, just like he told me I'd see. It was my sign of knowing where he lived. My friends and I had agreed to go pick him up so I could see him. Actually be with him... for the first time ever. That night, I was more nervous about seeing him, that we would actually meet than anything in my life. I had come this close to meeting guys I had met online so many times before. This had never happened. I had never met anyone in person, like this.

I saw him walk through the little patch of woods that separated his house from the road. I couldn't see his face yet, just his silhouette. I felt everything inside of me falling into place. Still a fear, of what he would actually think of me lingering in the back of my mind. He had seen my pictures. He had heard my voice. He had gotten to know me, and I him, without seeing each other. Grown feelings for each other without actually being together. My first thought when I realized tonight would be the night I met him was, in real life, I look so different than my pictures. What would he really think?

When he opened the door to the car I could feel the cold air from the winter night hit me. My best friend said hi to him as he climbed inside. He just looked at me and smiled. I couldn't see his face very well, only because it was dark. I could see outlines and shadows from where streetlights and moonlight would hit his face as we drove back to our destination, the horse sale.

When we arrived, my best friend and her beau decided they were going to venture off and find something to eat. She told me to behave and we departed. We walked around the building to the barn. It was strange at first. I felt like I had known him my whole life and could talk to him about anything, and I didn't like the feeling of being so vulnerable. I had been hurt and scarred too much to be this excited. I had these invisible walls built up that he was tearing down, one brick at a time. He made it feel so easy to just be me.

I never thought, once he met me, that he'd want to hold my hand or really have feelings for me at all anymore.. but as we were walking back to the front of the building to catch up with my best friend, he reached for my hand. I gladly accepted.

I have held hands with many guys in my life. However, this was the very first time in my whole life I had ever held hands with someone I had so many feelings for. When our hands touch I felt a shock go up my arm and too my heart. Resulting in a smile on my face.