Breaking the Ice

As we ventured on, hand in hand.. he explained how cold my hands were and wanted to know why I didn't put my hands in my coat pockets when I walked. I just told him I didn't, that there was no reason. What he didn't know was I kept them by my sides, just in case he wanted to take hold of my hand. I have come to realize a lot of times when a girl is around a boy that she has feelings for, there is a secret motive behind almost every move she makes. And sometimes, like this instance, it works.

We found my friends at a new food place they had set up outside the sale. They had just finished eating when we approached them. While we were standing there talking, he ran into someone that he knew and hadn't seen in what seemed like a while, from how they approached each other. As they stood there talking to each other, all I did was look at him.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have watched people. I observe their actions, the clothes they wear, the faces they make, the color of their hair, their eyes. I don't observe them to judge them, I observe them to study them. To see if they would be a person I would like to get to know. I was observing him because I wanted to remember this night forever. I wanted to remember what he looked like, the faces he made, the way he laughed, the color of his hair and eyes. I wanted to remember everything I possibly could about this man, and I couldn't bring myself to figure out why.

As they were talking I noticed how dark his hair really was. The darkest brown I had ever seen. It was shaggy, but not too long... just right, I thought to myself. I knew his eyes were brown, but I hadn't yet had a chance to really look into them. I made a mental note, to observe that when I gained the chance. He had on light colored jeans, tennis shoes, a light colored -what I think was Hollister- shirt, a black jacket, and a black hat. He stood with his hands in his pockets, talking to the man about cars or some other man thing that I will never come to understand.

In the middle of my observing, the man left with a joke and I saw him smile. I remember him smiling when he first climbed into the car but it wasn't a smile.. it was more like a smirk. This smile, as the man left, was a real smile.. with his teeth visible.

I'll never forget, as we walked on down away from the barn, the dirt road had places washed out from rain. I caught from the corner of my eye that he was staring at me but I payed him no attention... I just kept walking, hand in hand. While he was staring at me, he slipped off into one of the washed out places of the road and I laughed so hard. As, I was laughing he got on the other side of me so he wouldn't fall in it again. Just my luck, I was laughing at him for falling into the rut and I fell right in when he got on the other side of me. It made everything seem lighter. It let us both know that no matter how we were trying to act for each other, we are both human and then and now and later, we are going to mess up. It broke the ice, and I'm actually thankful, for once in my life, that I slid off into that washed out place.